Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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