Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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