we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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