when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize