Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
