he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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