I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
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My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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