Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
