Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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