he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
