Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
