so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize