I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
