So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
