I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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