my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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