The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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