So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
