I could have mohawked her pubes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is my gift to your gina
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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