nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize