I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
