Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize