Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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