I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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