Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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