Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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