Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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