At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize