Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
