i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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