I can't breathe out the right side of my face
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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