but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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