Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
