So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
