so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
