would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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