Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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