I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
zippers are such a cool invention
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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