Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Damn victory sex feels great
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize