you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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