Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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