Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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