Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
