Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
