a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
