Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Randomize
