its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
