(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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