is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
