Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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