So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
