Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
