It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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