Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
