Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
