...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
