I wish you could order shots online.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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