i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
