I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
