Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
