I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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