dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
