I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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