Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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