I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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