trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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