she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
