If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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